★ Think Less · Do More · Since 2026 ★
Elias Belzberg
Retard Consulting Group
"Thinking is a cost center."
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Call Now · Do Not Sleep On It
1-800-RETARDS
★ Think Less · Do More · Since 2026 ★
"Thinking is a cost center."
Call Now · Do Not Sleep On It
Awards & Recognition
Practice Areas
Every problem you have is a thought you haven't acted on yet.
We audit your organization for excess thought and remove it. Most clients see a 90% reduction in meetings by Friday. The rest see it by Thursday.
Flagship EngagementA two-day intensive. Day one: you act. There is no day two. You're already done.
On-Site · ImmediatelyHave a strategy deck? We delete it. A roadmap? Deleted. A pros-and-cons list? We don't even open it. Then you are free.
Per Document DestroyedWe look at the founder. We feel something. We wire the money. Data rooms are for people who aren't sure.
2 & 20 · ObviouslyTests are just doubts written in code. We remove the doubts, then we remove the staging environment.
Friday Afternoons PreferredUnlearn everything your MBA taught you. Half price if you never had one. Free if you dropped out.
Sliding Scale
Elias Belzberg delivering the keynote. Results: up. Time: irrelevant.
Leadership
Elias Belzberg founded the Retard Consulting Group in 2026 after noticing that every bad decision he had ever made was preceded by thinking about it. He has not thought since. He now brings that same discipline to founders, boards, and anyone who has ever said "let me sleep on it."
Clients describe Elias as "fast," "already gone," and "right, somehow."
Client Results
Elias told us to stop thinking. We stopped thinking. Revenue is up, or it isn't. We don't check anymore. — CEO, Series B
We had a two-year strategy. He replaced it with a Tuesday. Best Tuesday of my life. — Founder, Stealth
I asked him what the plan was. He had already left to execute it. — COO, Formerly Cautious
Don't Think About It.
Our consultants are already doing something. Join them.